Its funny how in a year you can change so much. Who knew that a month and some days after taking this photo everything would change. We didn’t know while walking in Williams that you had something growing inside of you that would take away your life and change all of ours. I never knew that I would have to grow up and become a hard soul in order to be strong for you and the family. You never knew that after this picture, it would be the last time you would look healthy. And although your clothes, your shoes and your hair never changed, you did. Your body started to shut itself down and your eyes became tired. You grew tired of fighting this battle against yourself, and the medicine only made you all the more tired. The doctors were never your friends, the nurses were nice but treated everyone the same. You never knew you wouldn’t live to see your grandkids grow up. 

Its funny the things you never think about because it seems impossible for them to happen. But when it happens, it hits you like a ton of bricks and you can;t do anything but face it. I never knew I could miss someone this much, that some days I physically ache for their presence. Some nights I even think I hear you walking around the house, making your coffee, getting ready for work. Coughing, that distinct cough of yours that wasn’t dry but it wasn’t a phlegm cough either. 

I don’t know where you are, but what I know is this; I would give everything I owned just to have you here with me, with us. To hear you, and smell you and hug you and bug you. I would trade in everything to have that back.

I miss you dad.